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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

A Situation

by Luis And The Bots

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    Nice digipack with lyrics and cool graphics by Juulia Niiniranta

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1.
Junkie Stole My Thesis 03:35
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Junkie Stole My Thesis Professor, we have a situation here I went out for just one beer This all happened on a Thursday night I never left it out of my sight All I had was a drink or two Now I don’t know what to do 'Coz the junkie stole my thesis He snapped my doctoral work I had a copy on my laptop Now it´s gone, shame on that jerk It wasn’t dog who ate it No stupid niece who baked it It was the drug addict who stole it I'm gonna hang myself high I'm gonna hang myself high Professor, you know all that pain I had to suffer for the past few years The process almost drove me insane All the pressure from you and peers I relaxed with a drink or two Who can tell me now what to do 'Coz the junkie stole my thesis He snapped my doctoral work I had a copy on my laptop Now it´s gone, shame on that jerk It wasn’t dog who ate it No stupid niece who baked it It was the drug addict who stole it I'm gonna hang myself high I'm gonna hang myself high Of course I had a second copy On a standard memory stick But after ten tequilas, or so All the lemon and salt to lick I somehow lost my memory I somehow lost the stick 'Coz the junkie stole my thesis Sold my laptop for a trip or two Sold my laptop for a trip Professor, I'll have to start all over With my doctoral work I need another four years or so All thanks to that bloody jerk The Junkie stole my doctoral thesis He snatched my masters thesis He ran away with my bachelor thesis The junkie stole my doctoral thesis
2.
Pimp My slides 03:45
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Pimp My Slides Twenty four hours before my next show Can't really afford, to score this time low Right on my desktop, over three hundred slides And I must find the one where the true message hides I pimp my slides, I pimp my slides I make the perfect presentation Something old and something new I need now all the inspiration To impress the people, the consultants of the world Hour by hour, the heat's getting on Crackberry beeping, the same old song No time for lunch - we just can't lose At the end of the pimping, just give me some booze I pimp my slides, I pimp my slides I make the perfect presentation Something old and something new I need now all the inspiration To impress the people, the consultants of the world It's almost midnight, just eight hours of time My eyes are running slideshow, I can't run or hide Copy-pasting graphics, adding some words How can I succeed to impress all of these jerks I pimp my slides, I pimp my slides Pimped through slides in hundreds, to make the final ten My girlfriend wonders, shall I finish and when Making Gates richer, by using Powerpoint I'm a total wreck now, I need a heavy joint I pimp my slides, I pimp my slides I make the perfect presentation Something old and something new I need now all the inspiration To impress the people, the consultants of the world
3.
Fruit Shaped Ass 03:08
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Fruit Shaped Ass The place where the sun don't shine Asses come in various shapes It's our heritage from monkeys and apes I love all those badass babes Whose bottoms are captured on video tapes It's the fruit shaped ass The one you can't pass Peach and orange and apple - you name it The place where the sun don't shine We used to crawl on all four limbs We chose our partners, no need for pimps We just kept selecting the fruit shape bottom Which wasnt even covered with cotton It's the fruit shaped ass The one you can't pass The forbidden fruit - the one Adam bit The place where the sun don't shine One day humans stepped up on their feet You could hear a thousand heart beat When they felt the obvious heat Having fruit shaped asses lying on the beach It's the fruit shaped ass The one you can't pass – makes us hazy Peach and orange and apple The place where the sun don't shine Vegetables, “eat them”, thats what mama told Green leaves, root beets, but I ain't sold I hate veggies, vegetable shaped ass Cabbage is the worst, I will always pass It's the fruit shaped ass The one you can't pass The forbidden fruit - the one Adam bit The place where the sun don't shine
4.
Loving Evil People 04:22
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Loving Evil People It all starts at kindergarten age Children fighting, showing hate and rage Pushing others, to reach the skies Acting like from “Lord of Flies” Loving evil people Loving evil people The more they hurt, it's inspiration It's just like flirt, it's preparation For the great destination of loving evil people Loving evil people High school, army, college times Always the rat, always the mice Someone stabbing, pushing you down Making you suffer, without a sound Loving evil people Loving evil people The more they hurt, it's inspiration It's just like flirt, it's preparation For the great destination of loving evil people Loving evil people Evil lives in you and me She's so clever, we hardly can see Thats why I say all words so bad Thats what makes our lives sometimes so sad Loving evil people Loving evil people The more they hurt, it's inspiration It's just like flirt, it's preparation For the great destination of loving evil people Loving evil people
5.
Eternal Diet 02:22
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Eternal Diet Yesterday mommy went to shop with her teenage daughter “Oh mommy, mommy, now you gotta stop! No candy, no beer, just water” On eternal diet, lose a kilo or two Follow funny programs and get the kilos back soon Mirrors make, her look so fat and so do photos too Gotta work, gotta work with that Photoshop To delete a kilo or two On eternal diet, lose a kilo or two Follow funny programs and get the kilos back soon Hi carb, lo carb, Atkinson On eternal diet, lose a kilo or two Follow funny programs and get the kilos back soon
6.
Chicken & Egg 03:17
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Chicken & Egg Hi there, I am the chicken This is my good friend, the Egg (he´s got a good friend, the egg) We don't know exactly where do we come from But I know who was first Of course it was me, Egg Appearing on earth first (he came on earth first) It took another five days before my cover burst And I turned into the chicken The chicken and the egg are the best of friends Who was there before, shall we ever know? In a way - oh, in a way, who cares? No, no, oh my dear egg friend You got it all now wrong (he´s got it all now wrong) Who on earth could have made you unless I was here first And then my bottom burst The chicken and the egg are the best of friends Who was there before, shall we ever know? There must be someone out there who cares Hi there, I am the Chicken This is my good friend, the Egg (he´s got a good friend, the egg) We don't know exactly where do we come from But we know who was first Everybody wonders where do we all come from What was there before there was nothing Will we ever know (will we ever know) Will we ever know (will we ever know) In a way - oh, in a way, who cares? The chicken and the egg are the best of friends Who was there before, shall we ever know? In a way - oh, in a way, who cares? Maybe someone does, a-ha Maybe someone does, a-ha
7.
Cherry-picker 05:10
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CHERRY-PICKER Jeremiah the cherry-picker Lived his life in an odd and strange way He always aimed for something bigger Not caring what the others say No wife, no house, no carry baggage Just girlfriends, odd jobs, rented flats and Jeremiah tried to have the cake and eat it too But you can't have the cake and eat it too On one sunny April afternoon Jeremiah walked in cherry fields Put in his mouth two dozen cherries Then he choked and fell and died Jeremiah tried to have the cake and eat it too But you can't have the cake and eat it too Jeremiah the cherry-picker Lived his life in an odd and strange way He always aimed for something bigger Not caring what the others say No wife, no house, no carry baggage Just girlfriends, odd jobs, rented flats and Jeremiah tried to have the cake and eat it too But you can't have the cake and eat it too They say he used those other people 'round him He didn’t care, even didn’t love himself How can you think you have a real life Not even loving yourself But Jeremiah tried to have a life so full he could And maybe he did, who knows, maybe he did I wanna be like this cherry-picker To live my life in a real special way I want to aim for something bigger Not caring what the others say No wife, no child, no carry baggage Just girlfriends, odd jobs, rented flats and I want to have the cake and I want to eat it too Yes, I can have the cake and eat it too Eat it too
8.
Blood On The Snow 02:41
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Blood on the Snow Once I had a friend Her name was Ryan-Marie Becker We met after skiing in Pub Mofo But she was a trouble maker Everybody loved her The smile and her funny stories But she was a trouble maker Oo, she was a trouble maker Blood on the snow Blood on the snow Blood on the snow snow snow snow snow Red blood on the white powder snow Then we saw the day When she met Mechanic called Mikey She drove him totally crazy Always leaving open the doors She kept on partying wildly Staying out 'til five in the morning But she was a trouble maker Oo, she was a trouble maker Blood on the snow Blood on the snow Blood on the snow snow snow snow snow Red blood on the white powder snow Once I had a friend Her name was Ryan-Marie Becker We met after skiing at Farinet But she was a trouble maker Now Mike the Mechanic loves her They have a chalet next to Medran She is no more trouble maker Oo, she is no more trouble maker I said she is no more trouble maker Blood on the snow Blood on the snow Blood on the snow snow snow snow snow Red blood on the white powder snow
9.
Border-Joe 04:08
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Border-Joe 40 years of service, a few to go He's our hero, Border-Joe Keeping guard, to keep us fine Day and night and rain or shine Checking goods, stopping trucks Watching a thousand faces cross Goods crossing borders Smugglers, crooks and wicked dudes Be aware 'coz Border-Joe is there. Standing at the border post two more years, at the most Face the border hero on call, who once will save us all Just two weeks left at the border post Joe cannot dismiss, feeling something's amiss Stopping the truck he checks it's load Comes across a dirty bomb Dirty bomb crossing borders Smugglers, crooks and wicked dudes Be aware 'coz Border Joe is there Standing at the border post two more years, at the most Face the border hero on call, who once will save us all Last day on the job, it´s party time Speeches, medals and Joe feels fine Three pm, two hours to go A shot is heard A single shot, a sniper job Kills poor Joe - revenge of the mob The hero who saved us all Smugglers, crooks and wicked dudes Be aware 'coz Border Joe is there Standing at the border post two more years, at the most Face the border hero on call, who once will save us all
10.
TPE-Generation 03:09
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TPE Generation Our history is mad Some parts of it real sad But luckily thats gone New future can be sung TPE's We are the perfect Europeans Leaving all bad things behind Super-integration, Euro-penetration We are the TPE Generation Brussels' crazy rules Those bureacracy fools Tell you what to do Too often without a clue (C'mon and shout) But we don’t care We are the perfect Europeans Leaving all bad things behind Super-integration, Euro-penetration We are the TPE Generation, sí, sí, sí Cooking like a Brit Driving like the French Sober as the Irish Discreet as a Dane Hot European girls German, Croatian, Polish, Italian pearls My current one is great The beauty from - The Ukraine – ta da da From Spain My perfect Euro Girl TPE's TPE's TPE generation (C'mon) We are the perfect Europeans Super-integration, Euro-penetration We are the TPE's TPE's TPE's TPE generation
11.
King´s Skull 04:13
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King's Skull Early eighteen hundreds, there was a bloody fight Scottish army and the Xhosas fighting for their lives Hintsa, King of Xhosas, shot down by a Scot His head was cut from torso - Africa had lost Return the skull of King Hintsa Find the two white ponies - find the two white donkeys Return the skull of King Hintsa Somewhere in the Highlands, that is where the skull lies The hurricane spirit on empty TV screen Telling Chief Ngaelica where the skull has been Return the skull of King Hintsa Waiting all these years for the bravest man Return the skull of King Hintsa A man that has no fears, whose attitude is “can” Chief then flew to Scotland, in Europe far away Looked for donkeys, looked for ponies, when someone said him “Hey” Let's search inside this garden, a skull was seen in here A yellow one, a hole on side - we found it, time to cheer Return the skull of King Hintsa Find the two white ponies - find the two white donkeys Return the skull of King Hintsa Somewhere in the Highlands, that is where the skull lies Tribal remains were stolen, by people far up north Studied and stored in museums, without a permit by their owner Return the skull of King Hintsa It's time to return all items to place where they belong Return the skull of King Hintsa Oh, it's time to see the day when Africa has won Return the skull of King Hintsa Find the two white ponies - find the two white donkeys Return the skull of King Hintsa Somewhere in the Highlands, that is where the skull lies
12.
Xmas On Canary Island 04:30
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Xmas on Canary Islands We can't wait 'til the wheels are in air The best time of winter, sitting soon in beach chair In fact we have waited for the whole year Time to change on again the island gear It´s beach, it´s sun, it´s ocean waves It´s golf course, strip clubs, and it's cool, hot babes It´s young, it's old, it's families Every night the drunken one in karaoke sings "It´s Xmas time on Canary islands again" We come here every Xmas, I know We dislike the white and we really hate the snow Brown sand, green grass, blue water, great show Santa wouldn't find here, we´re laughing “ho ho ho” Sometimes I get tired of all them drunks All those loud Swedish punks Sometimes I wish I had one Xmas at home Quiet, peaceful, reading a poem Twelve months gone and the wheels are down Bells they jingle the good ol' sound Lost on island, all hope gone We are cursed, here comes the sun It´s beach, it´s sun, it´s ocean waves It´s golf course, strip clubs, and it's cool, hot babes It´s young, it's old, it's families Every night the drunken one in karaoke sings "It´s Xmas time on Canary islands again"

about

In general, how normal are things from the point of view of a
middle-aging Middle-European Middle-Class middle-sized career person?

What's the average consumption, speed and efficiency?
Luis and the Bots doesn't exactly give you answers,
but the band does offer offbeat angles on present and
past day peculiarities such as Atkins diet, snatched macbooks,
working on presentations and, yes, on evolution too.

Luis and the Bots is an organic-orgastic-organ-pop-band that
celebrates its nine-year existence by releasing its debut album
"A Situation" in September 2016.

credits

released September 29, 2016

Luis Herrero (vocals, bass)
Tuukka Heikkinen (drums)
Jaakko Teittinen (guitar)
Antti Huilaja (electronic organ and digital piano)

Recorded and mixed by Samuli Reinikainen / Lunamy Creations

Mastered by Jaakko Viitalähde / Virtalähde mastering

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